29 May 2009

Avast, ye scallywags!

The Intertubes remind me a little bit of international waters. There is no single state that holds control and they both belong to all of mankind.

This doesn't mean that there is lack of jurisdiction though. At sea, a ship is considered to be part of the jurisdiction of it's flag state. Likewise, on the Internet, the jurisdiction is determined by the physical location of the computer and can be tracked by it's IP address.

As of this writing, most countries have implemented at least some form of Internet censorship and computer surveillance, more often than not to "protect our freedom". In addition to this, the entertainment industry is actively engaged in the Copyright War, hunting filesharers all over the world.

But what if we want to protect our freedom on our own? Well, people who do are commonly called pirates, and I have decided to become one of them.

But first things first. In order to become a real pirate, it is inevitable to obtain some basic equipment:

Pirate hat

The attire can be anything "piraty", like a pirate hat, eyepatch, sash, boots or a geeky shirt with the Jolly Roger on it.

Parrot

While the talking parrot on the shoulder is one of the most recognizable symbols for a pirate, other pets are permitted too. I decided to go with my dwarf hamster, Crunch. He's an expert in plundering edible stuff.

Ship

The vehicle depends mostly on the environment and the budget. At sea, you can take anything that floats, like a ship, boat or even a raft. Land based pirates can choose between different cars, tanks and motorbikes. A bicycle can also be sufficient if there are budget constraints. However, a vehicle of any kind is a must. That's what differentiates a pirate from a hobo.

Jolly Roger

The pirate flag. Sailing without it is like walking on the streets without wearing any pants. In both cases, people will laugh at you and throw with garbage.

Wench

Optionally, you might want to consider to get a wench or two, which makes the life of a pirate so much more enjoyable.

Yarrrr!

Once fully equipped, we can embark on our journey and fill the treasure chest with gold, silver and copyrighted gems from the entertainment industry. Hopefully, after some time, we will be able to build a pirate stronghold and enjoy retirement as governor of our own little island.